Fitness Bread makes itself known as such by featuring-on every single loaf-a photograph of a Fitness Woman operating down the beach, her smug abs grinning away. Why the spring in her step? How is Fitness Woman running directly on a body of water when, traditionally, humans have had to perform on solid areas? Why such jaunty elbows?
Is it the Fitness Bread? What’s her tale? Mestermacher, the company that makes Fitness Bread, has provided a food that is included with a free reward mystery. Never one to withstand a variant toast opportunity or the lure of an aloof athlete, I decide to acquire a loaf. The search requires me to three wholesome local food markets and two wholesome nationwide chains.
My determination to learn the taste of fitness only boosts, and I finally order it online. Fitness Bread is packaged in a brick form with a brick-like heft. It’s pre-sliced and vacuum-sealed. Much like actual fitness dealing with this loaf of bread is a bit of a pain. I understand it’s good for me.
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Still, once I am enjoying it, I can’t shake a suspicion that I have tricked myself. Mestermacher’s tagline is “the approach to life bakery.” Among the Mestermacher founders was devoted to the Lebensreform movement, a 19th hundred years “lifestyle” motion that motivated eating “natural” foods and was suspicious of the negative implications of industrialization.
How fun to be fit and suspicious at the same time. In other words, Fitness Bread is doing the healthyish thing for longer than anyone has been alive. And it has developed a rabid sense, fit pursuing. The prepositional phrases “obsessed with” and “deeply in love with,” have been found in a public community forum. There are formulas abounding for and by people who wish to unlock the secrets of Fitness Bread, to understand it for themselves. ” That’s a joke about how this bread is dense, valuable, and best used sparingly.
I have to work to figure out how to include Fitness Bread into my life. I’m not sure what the Fitness Bread wants on it. I’ve never thought about what breads wanted before. Usually, the bread is at the mercy of whatever I want. In this case, the breads are the alpha.
Eventually, I learn that the loaf of bread will not want hummus or butter. It does not mind being truly a vehicle for nut butters. In my experience, it most desires to be a cheese melt. The texture is dominant as well. The breads don’t dissolve into fluff to interact with my mouth. It’s like a whole-grain cereal, elongated. It’s neither smooth nor crunchy nor crusty.
It’s tough and dense. It’s a hard-bodied loaf of bread. Like, if it were an athlete (I’m getting creepy; just go with it), I’d say it’s a competitive swimmer. Or the Fitness Woman, sweat free suspiciously, a position that doesn’t show any sign of exertion. It’s serious and streamlined. Fitness Bread is absolutely filling. You can take my word for it: I am biking a zillion hours each day because the trains are confusing from my new apartment. After eating a slice of it, I forgot that I had received out half an avocado to eat! I never forget an avocado.
